Physiological birth is unpredictable. No matter where someone sits on the spectrum between birth being a natural, normal part of life and something that is inherently dangerous and needs to be monitored and managed closely, most people will concede that you cannot wholly predict how it will unfold.

People's opinions (on anything and everything) stem from a combination of their education, beliefs, wider worldview and own lived experience. Unless you make a conscious effort to see things from other people's points of view and to acknowledge that what might be right for you won't necessarily be right for someone else, it can lead to very heated discussions, putting it mildly.

With this in mind, some people believe that because you can't predict with complete accuracy how a birth will go, there is no point in preparing for birth, or for putting together a birth plan. It'll go how it'll go and you're fooling yourself if you believe you can control it. That this leads to unrealistic expectations and ultimately, to disappointment.

While I agree that you cannot control how birth progresses, I do believe that you can influence it. That you can prepare yourself mentally, emotionally and physically to give yourself the best chance of coming through the crucible of birth stronger and more confident than you were before. That you can understand the process of birth and how controlling your environment can give your body the best chance to release the necessary hormones for the process to unfold smoothly. That you can understand how important the subconscious beliefs we all hold about birth (which is itself an unconscious process) are and how these can influence a birth's progress. And also, that you can think about the things that are most important to you in the event of your baby's birth, so that if events take an unexpected turn, you can still own what's happening and feel fully part of the process.

More practical ideas for ways to achieve this will become the subjects of future posts. What helped you to prepare for birthing? What helped your partner or other support prepare? What, in retrospect, do you wish you'd known in advance?

Getting back to work after having had my third baby (who is about to turn one next week) has had me pondering about space. Not stars and planets, but the space in your life for new things, be they people or projects or whatever.

We talk about 'making time' for things, but we're kidding ourselves really. We can't make time. We can only redistribute it; prioritise differently.

One of the things that can be hard in pregnancy, whether it's your first or your fourth, is making the space to really focus on the new life growing inside you. To give you and your baby time to just be together. This can be especially hard if you've lost a baby, at whatever stage. This new little bean may feel too tentative, too fragile, to really allow yourself to acknowledge. But whenever you feel you can make that connection, you're building a relationship that will last a lifetime.

Practicalities. How do you do it? I know lots of people have found it hard to find the time to do the things they'd like to to support themselves through their pregnancy and to prepare for birth (and beyond). Finding the reason for the lack of time can be helpful. Is there something worrying you? Could you do with more emotional or practical support?

Is there anything you could drop or adapt to give you just a minute (literally) each day where you could turn inwards and say hi to your little one? It doesn't have to be a Big Thing. You don't have to be artfully arranged on a white sofa wearing yoga pants. You could be in the shower, on the loo or waiting for the kettle to boil to take a few deep breaths and check in with your baby. This can, of course, be harder when you already have a child or more; but look for those little moments in the day where a minute of quiet presents itself. I know, I know; easier said than done. But give it a go and see what happens.

Starting small – baby steps – will help you to make space in your days (and your heart) for your baby. As time goes on, one minute may become five, or ten, or one minute many times a day. Then carving out the time to do the things you want to do will feel more possible.